I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
if only i could text you this smell
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
