Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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