forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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