I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
