Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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