You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
