what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Bring me that man meat
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
