Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
