What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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