I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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