Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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