Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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