I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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