Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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