My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
