I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
