I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
