i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
