google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Reggie can tackle my bush.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Every concussion has its silver lining
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
