can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
