watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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