Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
