So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
