I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
