All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
