The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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