Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
