Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
