he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm too high and old for this...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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