I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
