I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
