I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
