you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
