just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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