I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
