she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
