i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This is my gift to your gina
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
