I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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