dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
