FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
