dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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