fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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