Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
