Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
