Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
