you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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