Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
