So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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