Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
