u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Found your dick twin last night
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
