Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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