We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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