I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
