Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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